Month: May 2014

Two Kinds of People

There are two kinds of people in this world.

Surprisingly (not really) there are lots of sayings out there on the internet that start with this phrase. I have done some research and I can’t find anything that resembles what I am about to say, so I apologize to whomever if I am stealing your words. I have no intention of stealing your words, so if you said it you can claim it here and I’ll give you attribution.

There are two kinds of people in this world,

those who give life and those who suck life right out of you.

I have known this for a long time. However, there are stages in my life that I realize as I look back on them that I have either been one of them, or both. I hope that I haven’t been the latter as often as I have been the former, but I guess that really isn’t up to me to judge. I also know, as I look back, that I have most certainly had both kinds of people in my life. I haven’t always recognized it as quickly as I should have. Lessons learned.

I have two pieces of advice. First, evaluate the people in your life. Do it honestly (this will be tough!), and do it quickly. The sooner you realize who the givers and the suckers are, the better off you’ll be. Second, get rid of the suckers. They aren’t worth it. That’s not to say give them a second chance and to have grace with them, but after a while the sucking overrides the giving and that is when it is time to cut them loose.

Where do you fall? Be honest with yourself. Are you a giver of life or a sucker of life?

Feel free to comment on the subject of this post or to add your own “two kinds” statement.

 

My Life via the Spam Folder – A Story

 

Yahoo, I took 24 hours and wrote down the subject lines for the email in my spam folder. It is amazing that spam can exist these days given that the subject line pretty much gives it away. People really don’t request this stuff, let alone respond to them do they? What to do with all these spam messages…well, how about if this was really representative of my life?

Yeah, this is my (fictional) life, through spam!

 The Story (Fiction)

Life around here has been pretty difficult as of late. I am broke and have very little education, the car has problems, I am homeless, and my girlfriend decided last week that she just didn’t want to be with me any longer. Luckily, I have been able to get lots of help with all my problems. I don’t know if it is divine intervention or not, but my email seems to offer a solution to all my problems without me ever having to solicit help.

Very accurate!

I decided to get a free psychic reading to see if all this unsolicited help would benefit me in the long run. She said my life in the near future would turn around and I would be well on my way to success. She said specifically, “You’ll get an education and a new job that will allow you to find a place to live, buy a car and keep it running, and find new love in my life.” Good thing I went to see her first!

First, an education seemed like a priority but I didn’t have any money. One offer in my email stood out, I could get a government grant for cash. I assume this will be a large grant since the government is flush with cash and gives it away regularly. With four separate offers for $2500 loans (that totals $10,000 right?), an offer for an instant $6500 loan, and another offer for an instant approval of $5000, I am now flush with cash myself and able to afford that education I have wanted for so long. All of those loans, a government grant, and an offer for a Kaplan University Scholarship will get me the education I deserve!

Education has done wonders for me. I was depressed, but no longer! The antidepressants that I was taking never really worked and now they are no longer needed. So, i sued them for selling me ineffective drugs. My email gave me great advice since there were two anti-depressant lawsuits I could join. As it turns out, others were not happy with their results either.

Now that I am educated, I need a job. So I found one with the help of an email titled, “Jobs in my area.” Sure enough, there were all kinds of jobs waiting to be filled! Some that needed specific skills and some that needed no skill at all. I applied for all that needed skills since I was being educated at Kaplan University. I mean, after all, I am now qualified for everything but why get a low paying job. That is WAY below me. Good thing there are all those nice people out there fighting for a minimum wage of $15 an hour. That way the losers will have something to do too!

SMART? I don’t know.

Can’t get to work without a car, so I bought one now that I have a high paying job. Of course, there are all kinds of things with a car that takes money, like insurance. Insurance costs a lot of money and if you are a good driver you rarely have to use it, so it shouldn’t cost so much. I had two emails offering cheap auto insurance; I bought two for good measure. You never know when you might need it. The dealership recommended that I buy an extended warranty for the car since the manufacturer isn’t really reliable with all those recalls and whatnot. I said no, but luckily there were four extended warranty offers for my car in the email. That really saved me! Plus, who doesn’t like free stuff once in a while. Low and behold, a free oil change was waiting for me in the inbox as well. Life is great.

Sometimes life can be confusing too. I had an email after I bought my car that said, “Lead generator.” Obviously this was spam, because who knew there was a shortage of lead? If it wasn’t about the shortage of lead, then who would want a really heavy generator in their car? That isn’t very good for gas mileage and I need to save money not waste it. I deleted that one right away. I mean, I am not going to click on something that wasn’t intended for me and might contain a virus or something else intended to harm me. Also, there was an email for cheap life insurance. I am young, who needs that stuff? Besides, there is no one to give the money to since I don’t have kids or a significant other. That one went straight to the trash folder as well.

Next, my homelessness needed to be solved. Luckily that was also easily solved by my email! I checked out the two emails on home foreclosures and found several that met me needs. However, I am running short on funds since I just bought a car, got an education, and have to commute to a job. So, I got a reverse mortgage for seniors. I am not sure how I qualify as a “senior” because I am only in my early 40s, but they sent me an email so it was their mistake. As it turns out, they pay me to own the home! I guess the joke is on them! After I got my house I needed to fill it with cool stuff, so I waited for a pre-approval notice for an account to a store I don’t visit often, but hey what the heck! I also got a new visa card and opened a Khols account. I spent to my max, let me tell you. Now I had a big new TV to watch, along with all the clothes, furnishings, and appliances my little heart desired. The new TV was even better when I figured out how to get cheap cable.

The last and probably most difficult problem was yet to be handled. I had to get my girlfriend back. The gift card to Victoria Secret for filling out a survey was a good start. She loved that place! But wait, what is this? I didn’t need her back. There are tons of other options I could use. Besides, I didn’t really like her that much anyway. As it turns out, there are lonely moms waiting for dates or Russian brides waiting for someone to rescue them from behind the “iron curtain.” Those are two great options, but it seems a bit random and a little risky. How do I know if they will want me le alone like me? Maybe the email from EHarmony is a better option. At least then I will know the person really likes me! Now is as good a time as any to prepare for the future so I watched a seduction video aid  and read an article on a stealth seducer. It seemed like good advice, but everyone knows that the ladies really only care about one thing, forget romance and intimacy. I’m not going to fail on that one since there were three emails on how to get powerful erections. Good thing the Canadians have figured out how to offer drugs for this. The two emails from Canadian pharmacy – Viagra/Cialis offering significant discounts was my solution. Now, I am set for relationship success!

Life now is a picnic. My email offered solutions to all my problems and solved them quite nicely. More people should pay closer attention to this stuff. Their lives would be MUCH better…

The Tale of Two Accounts

How often do you look in your spam folder? How much do you pay attention to it? Maybe I am a little odd and maybe not, but I look in my spam folder every day! I look in the spam folder every day to make sure there isn’t something there that doesn’t belong there. Three out of every five days I have to rescue an email that was delivered to the wrong folder. Poor little email.

Algorithms. I completely know or understand how they work, but I know they have something to do with math (something I am not good at). I also know they have something to do with a computer’s brain. I think. But really, it doesn’t matter. I just know that when I send an email it somehow ends up getting to where I want it to go most of the time. The intended recipient lets me know one way or another that they got it. However, I am not sure what algorithms are being used when it comes to the spam folder. I have several email addresses and I watch the spam folders for all of them. Honestly, I don’t know what Google is doing with their Gmail, but it is miles ahead of Yahoo.

I have had my Yahoo email address for many years now and there has been a continual flow of spam emails. They have gotten much better at getting into the spam folder and not in my actual inbox. Remember those days when you had to actually put all that mail into the trash? Yeah, me too. Maybe I shouldn’t be complaining then, but I can’t help it. My Yahoo account spam folder typically has about 50-80 spam messages in it every 24 hours. My question is why? Why is there any spam in it at all?

I have two Gmail accounts, one for work and one for personal use. Google does a phenomenal job at getting the spam into the spam folder! I very rarely see an email that I wasn’t intended to see. However, where Google has taken the cake is in the spam prevention. Their algorithm actually works! In a typical week, between the two accounts I have, I usually only have a total of seven messages in the spam folders. Seven. So, Google, what are you doing that makes you so much better than Yahoo?

Ok, I don’t really want the answer. I just want to say “Thank you.”

 

Parental Detention (or, I’m Making a Point for My Child)

 

In thirteen years of teaching, I haven’t ever had what happened on Friday afternoon after school. I had a parent “own” his child’s detention (child stayed too) and he wasn’t apologetic for it either. I am not really sure how I feel about it and I am still trying to process it. How would you take it?

Background

It was the 6th period of the day and there was only an hour left of school. The bell had rung and all the students were in their seats as we started. We had been talking and reading about the origins of the Vietnam War when Student A’s cell phone make a beeping noise, a text alert.

Now, we have a cell phone policy in our school that doesn’t allow for the use of cell phones during class. Generally though, most teachers don’t really follow the policy any longer because we would spend all of our time “policing” cell phone usage and very little time teaching. Plus, getting into conflict over a cell phone generally isn’t a great way to build rapport with a student. It’s an issue, but not one to die over. These days, I have taken the policy of letting them use it (unless blatantly disrupting their learning or someone else’s) because they are responsible for their learning, not me. If they are distracted by it, then it is on them. Plus, I actually require they use them occasionally for taking a survey by text or whatnot. However, I do draw the line when a cell phone becomes audible. Then I confiscate the cell phone for the class period and return it to them as they leave class. This all seems to work fairly well most of the time.

Student A’s cell phone make a sound after receiving a text. I asked her to bring it up. She protested a little with, “But Student B sent me the text!” Everyone in the room laughed because Student B is in the room too and she got her friend in trouble. Student A brought her phone up to me and while she did so I said that Student B needed to bring me her cell phone since she was the one who sent the text. Student B said she wouldn’t bring it to me. So, I went to the back of the room, held out my hand, and asked for it again. Student B flatly refused again saying, “No, I’m not giving it to you. My dad said to never give up my phone.” Now everyone in the room is watching and I’m thinking, “Well, this is interesting. Never would have expected this from her.” (Mostly because she is a GREAT student, straight A’s, always compliant, helpful, and respectful.) I asked again saying, “Come on, give me your phone. Is it really worth getting a detention for?” Student B’s response, “My daddy said to never give up my phone, so yes.” OK. I promptly turned, returned to the front of the room and wrote her name on the board. The class moved on as though it didn’t happen. After class and on her way out of the room she asked, “What time will you be here until today? My dad wants to come talk to you.” I gave her a time and Student B left the room.

The Parent

I was half expecting the riot act when the parent got there. But then again, this is a really nice family and all the kids are great kids so I wasn’t really sure what to think was going to happen. I was pretty sure, however, that I was going to get protestations about how the detention was unfair.

When the parent walked in all he said was, “I’m here for my detention! Where do you want me?” I responded that he could sit anywhere. Then he said, “I just want you to know that I am here to serve the detention since my daughter was following my instructions. With my background in law enforcement, I have instructed all my kids to never give up their phones. We will be dealing with her texting in class when we get home.” I said, “You know this is a bit unusual because I didn’t expect her to say ‘no’. We have a school policy of no cell phone usage in the classroom and if you need to get a hold of your student you can call the office and they will forward a message OR now you can actually call into our classrooms directly if needed.” His response was simply, “I know. that is just our rule for our kids.” Then he turned and chose a seat and sat down with his daughter. They sat there quietly talking for 25 minutes.

The End

There were a few minutes left in their 30 minutes and so I decided I should probably explain why she had gotten a detention a little more plainly that what his daughter had explained to him. So, I addressed Student B as I sat in front of them,” Student B I want to explain why you got the detention and how surprised I was that I had to give you one. The fact is that I like you and you are one of the best students I have in the junior class, that being said, I also can’t treat you differently than I would treat the other students in the room. The fact is, if you refuse to obey the instructions given to you by a teacher, I can’t just let that go. It sets a bad precedent for the others to see. You didn’t get the detention for using the cell phone. The detention was for refusing to give it up.” She said she understood.

Then her dad spoke up, “Listen, I understand why you gave her a detention and I am not happy with her because I had to rearrange my schedule to be here. I am not happy that she was using her cell phone during class and we will deal with that when we get home. But, I have to say, that I am proud of her for sticking up for what she had been instructed by her father to do, even in the face of adversity. We often wonder how our kids will react when they are put in a situation where they have to stand up for what they believe and when there is pressure to conform. She acted as I hoped she would, not in just this situation but hopefully in even greater, more serious situations. I am sorry she violated your policy and refused to give up her phone. That’s on me, but I wouldn’t want her to do it any differently. You did what you had to do and I respect that.”

We exchanged a few pleasantries about the weekend and out the door they went with a, “See you on Monday, Mr. Grenz!” from Student B.

My Questions

How do I take this? Was this a lesson for the child or was this a parent response telling me how ridiculous he thought it was that I gave his daughter a detention?

I am inclined to think it is the former, but there is still a part of me that thinks it is the latter. The words spoken seem to indicate this was a lesson for the student, but the tone in some of the words makes me think it was a lesson for me. I can’t quite put my finger on this and I haven’t quite settled on an answer.

So, tell me what you think? How would you have reacted to the teacher? How would you have taken this whole thing if you were the teacher? You can respond via the poll or in the comments.

Duck, Duck, Genocide

 

South Sudan

“If it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, it must be a duck.”

My senior Contemporary Issues (college prep) class has been doing a unit on genocide. I must admit, I lost it in class a little over a week ago. Not in the sense that you are probably thinking, no I didn’t lose me temper with them because they weren’t paying attention or being disrespectful. The fact is, I lost it emotionally. I quite literally and very visibly choked back my emotions as I read to them an article about the latest events happening in South Sudan. We had been, at the time, covering the 1994 Rwandan genocide and watching the film, Sometimes in April, so they were becoming familiar with the events of Rwanda. As I struggled to read the article about South Sudan, it was clear that I was not the only one in the room that was having a hard time with the topic. There was lots of sniffling and the wiping of eyes as they left the room at the end of the period.

It is interesting to watch them struggle with the realities that they face going into the larger world, and the realities of foreign policy. They are now starting to see that those easy and trite solutions they think they have for social or political problems in our country (and maybe around the world) aren’t as easy as they believed. This unit, with help from the Choices curriculum, has been designed to leave as many questions (by my design) as it answers. It gives them a chance to know the history and recognize the significant international challenges facing our nation and others when it comes to difficult issues (genocide, among others). To this point, we have covered Armenia, the Holocaust, Cambodia, Bosnia, Rwanda, and now Sudan (specifically the first event – Darfur). We have now dealt with the recent events in South Sudan and, after looking at the patterns from the other events, there is only one determination to make about what is happening there.

Genocide

I’m not going to beat around the bush here when it comes to what is going on in South Sudan. There may be a civil war, but it has all the markings of genocide, so let’s call it that instead of dancing around the issue and playing with nuances or word games. Then let’s do something about it instead of sitting back and letting it happen again because that phrase, “Never again,” has been uttered one too many times.

How do we know it is genocide? The first place to start is with the United Nations’ 1948 Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide. This document outlines the international effort to prevent and punish genocide after the Holocaust of World War II. The most important sections of the document are Articles 2 & 3. These articles define and outline the conditions for which genocide can be determined. Genocide is

Article II
In the present Convention, genocide means any of the following acts
committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical,
racial or religious group, as such :
(a) Killing members of the group;
(b) Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group;
(c) Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to
bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;
(d) Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group;
(e) Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.
Article III
The following acts shall be punishable:
(a) Genocide;
(b) Conspiracy to commit genocide ;
(c) Direct and public incitement to commit genocide;
(d) Attempt to commit genocide ;
(e) Complicity in genocide.

Admittedly, genocide can be difficult to define since the definition is a bit vague. My students have realized this as they have pondered the different episodes over time. However, what does seem pretty clear is that human rights should take precedent. No, there are no hard and fast numbers or “check points” for making a definitive determination. There are no “If the number of killings reaches 100, or a 1000,… .” Yet, on the other hand, can the killing of one person (surely the death of any number of people should be reprehensible) be enough for a genocide classification? This creates a rather convenient ambiguity that allows for the international community, or individual countries, to wiggle around events that are genocide. The convention requires that if a country recognizes an event as genocide, they have to do something about it. So, most countries just don’t use “the word.” Even international organizations that are supposed to protect human rights won’t use the word for fear of being held accountable for not doing something about it (see Amnesty International article). It is easier to condemn the events as “ethnic cleansing,” “war crimes,” or “crimes against humanity” so that no real commitment has to be made. NOT doing something falls under Article III, Section E, doesn’t it? Complicity?

Many of the people in South Sudan, the world’s newest country, were hopeful that they had put the violence of the past behind them when they voted for independence from Sudan. However, it didn’t take long for the violence to return. In the very recent past they have descended into ethnic conflicts between the Dinka and Nuer people, which has stemmed from a civil war between the president (a Dinka) and a fired deputy (a Nuer). The atrocities have now become well documented, but the international community continues to call the violence what it really is. On May 8, 2014, the UN released its report, Conflict in South Sudan: A Human Rights Reportwhere it again fails to call the events in South Sudan a genocide. The report does, however, indicate that the atrocities have gone both ways and that no one group is the sole perpetrator in the conflict.

Rwanda

Echoes of Rwanda

In 1994, Rwanda descended into chaos as the Hutus began a systematic and brutal program of extermination of the Tutsis. It took only 100 days for the Hutus to kill over 800,000 Tutsis and Hutu sympathizers. This was aided, of course by the world not really paying attention to what was going on and dancing around this issue. The information about how and where to do the killings was transmitted over the radio and as a result the radio was used to fan the flames of hatred and incite more violence on the Tutsis. The United States government, supposedly the only country in the world with the technology to block the radio transmissions, debated about the legality of blocking the radio signals and the right to free speech instead of human rights and protecting innocent life.

President Clinton visited Rwanda in 1998 and apologized for our failure to act. After the fact, he acknowledged the genocide.

…I thank especially the survivors of the genocide and those who are working to rebuild your country for spending a little time with us before we came in here…I have come today to pay the respects of my Nation to all who suffered and all who perished in the Rwandan genocide…Rwanda experienced the most extensive slaughter in this blood-filled century we are about to leave—families murdered in their homes, people hunted down as they fled by soldiers and militia, through farmland and woods as if they were animals.

From Kibuye in the west to Kibungo in the east, people gathered seeking refuge in churches by the thousands, in hospitals, in schools. And when they were found, the old and the sick, the women and children alike, they were killed—killed because their identity card [identified them as the targeted group]…It is important that the world know that these killings were not spontaneous or accidental…These events grew from a policy aimed at the systematic destruction of a people. The ground for violence was carefully prepared, the airwaves poisoned with hate…All of this was done, clearly, to make it easy for otherwise reluctant people to participate in wholesale slaughter…

…In their fate, we are reminded of the capacity for people everywhere, not just in Rwanda, and certainly not just in Africa but the capacity for people everywhere, to slip into pure evil. We cannot abolish that capacity, but we must never accept it. And we know it can be overcome…The international community, together with nations in Africa, must bear its share of responsibility for this tragedy, as well. We did not act quickly enough after the killing began…we owe to all the people in the world our best efforts to organize ourselves so that we can maximize the chances of preventing these events. And where they cannot be prevented, we can move more quickly to minimize the horror.

So let us challenge ourselves to build a world in which no branch of humanity, because of national, racial, ethnic, or religious origin, is again threatened with destruction because of those characteristics of which people should rightly be proud. Let us work together as a community of civilized nations to strengthen our ability to prevent and, if necessary, to stop genocide….We have seen, too—and I want to say again—that genocide can occur anywhere. It is not an African phenomenon and must never be viewed as such. We have seen it in industrialized Europe; we have seen it in Asia. We must have global vigilance. And never again must we be shy in the face of the evidence. (emphasis added)

Recently it was reported out of South Sudan that the radio was once again being used to incite hatred and further propagate violence against the Nuer people. This can only serve as a stark reminder and prove that the lessons of Rwanda have not been learned. This use of the radio is an explicit mirroring of Rwanda and can’t be denied as anything different. There are reports of young girls, as young as 10 (see UN report mentioned previously) being gang raped by as many as 10 men. There are reports of other women who won’t submit to gang rape being sexually tortured with large sticks, leading to their deaths. Again, like Rwanda, places that should be safe – schools, hospitals, churches, UN compounds – are being attacked and large numbers of people being killed. (Another report) Estimates continue to grow for refugees, now at a million or so, and there is real fear of famine by the end of the year because the conflict has kept them from planting the necessary crops for the food supply.

 The United States and United Nations Response

The United States has done very little when it comes to responding to this genocide, so why would this occasion be any different?. We didn’t do anything in Rwanda, we waited too long to act when it came to Darfur, Sudan, and now we are going to do the same thing when it comes to South Sudan. When the latest atrocities were exposed as “Piles and piles of bodies…” (article) the world seemed to take notice finally. It got lots of coverage across the world. That very same day, the White House released a press statement that summed up the known facts of the killings and called them an “abomination,” but their condemnation stopped there. Essentially the message was, “We’re monitoring the situation, but we aren’t going to do anything.” On May 1st, 2014, Secretary of State John Kerry actually mentioned the word genocide as a possibility (if the acts continue) but has yet to identify the events in South Sudan as genocide.

There are very disturbing leading indicators of the kind of ethnic, tribal, targeted, nationalistic killings taking place that raise serious questions, and were they to continue in the way that they have been going could really present a very serious challenge to the international community with respect to the question of genocide. (article)

So, if I understand him right, these events could lead to genocide. Has he read the Genocide Convention? If the events are similar to Rwanda and we called it genocide after the fact, then why not step up and call it that now?

It seems that one guy in Congress, Frank Wolf, has the right idea. He has called on the President to do more for and in South Sudan. He has used President Clinton’s failure in Rwanda as his basis as well. He says that since we were a major player in helping South Sudan become an independent nation that we have a “moral obligation” to intervene.

This week the Obama administration has given lip service to the issue, but has largely only postured politically by issuing economic sanctions on the military commanders (mind you this is just two people) from both sides while not including the key leaders of both sides. The effect of these sanctions will be minimal, if anything at all, as the targeted individuals may or may not do business or have assets in the U.S. The U.S. has spoken to the neighboring countries and they have agreed “in principle” to take similar actions, but this will likely be ineffectual as well.

The United Nations has approximately 26,000 peacekeepers in the country (more than Rwanda at the beginning of that genocide) and there are several areas that refugees have gone for protection. But when those compounds are being attacked and people killed or chased off into the surrounding landscape, it is rather ineffectual. The UN mission hasn’t yet been expanded to “protect the population,” although there have been requests to do so. The UN Security Council has met and supposedly is doing an investigation, but those take time (too much time) and how many more lives will be lost as a result of wasted time?

It only took Rwanda 100 days to blow up into a major humanitarian disaster. “Never again” has been used too many times and it always come back to “again.” Again we are dealing with evidence of genocide, even if it is being committed by both sides. Again the world debates about what to do. Again international organizations remain impotent to deal with a humanitarian crisis involving the deliberate destruction of human life. Again the U.S. sits back and watches while human suffering is evident. Again innocent people are looking for help from the rest of the world and get none.

Again.

 

What a Headache Taught Me About Procrastination

For those of you (or us) that procrastinate, this is a great analogy!

JAG GYM Blog

Image

My head is throbbing.

My neck hurts.

My eyes are sensitive to light.

My shoulders are tight.

Yes, I am suffering from the common malady: a headache.

It’s not my first rodeo. In fact, I know exactly what I can do to help it go away. And they are all pretty simple to do:

  1. take two Excedrin.
  2. drink a bunch of water
  3. have a snack, preferably with protein
  4. sniff some peppermint oil (trust me, it works)

And, presto, within a half an hour I will feel considerably better.

Yet for the past two hours or so (since the headache started) I have done none of these things.

What I have done is felt sorry for myself. Oh and I also complained to my 15 year-old daughter. I texted my best friend to tell her about it.

Then I felt sorry for myself a little longer. And then I remembered I…

View original post 591 more words

I Want Jeff Probst’s Job!

 

 

Watch out, Jeff, I’m coming for you!

I’ll admit it. I am a Survivor fan, and I have been one since the very first season. In all the seasons it has been on, I have seen all the episodes, save three. I think the game is entertaining, it is “real” (as much as a contrived reality show can be), and I think it makes for great social commentary. But, really, when the show is on all I can really think about is what Jeff is doing.

I mean, really, can anyone have a better job that this guy?

  1. He gets to visit exotic and cool places all over the world.
  2. He gets to travel on a vast array of vehicles and in different modes of transportation.
  3. He can get a tan.
  4. He get a really cool wardrobe of outdoor clothing.
  5. He spends his time lounging around “resort like” settings when he isn’t hosting challenges or getting people voted out of the tribe.
  6. He get so wear SHORTS as much as he wants! (that has to be one of the greatest bonuses ever!)
  7. He gets to interview and stir up problems between contestants.
  8. He eats well while on location.
  9. He sleeps well while on location because he has all the comforts of home while the contestants suffer.
  10. He gets sand, sun, surf, and beer (I am sure).

I’m just guessing here. I don’t know what his job really entails but I can imagine and I imagine that I would like it.

So, Jeff, if you ever need a replacement and you happen to run across this blog post, I am available. Yes, I already have a job but I could give it up if you called! I’ll be waiting by the phone…CALL ME!